It is hard to believe that Jeff and I have the privilege of introducing you to our new baby daughter, Sophie Kay Spires and to tell you her story.
Jeff and I have always felt called to adoption and during the last couple years, we doubted at times if it would happen for us. We had come through a lot as a couple including the building of a new house. We were on vacation in July in Northern Michigan and had decided at that time that we would pray about pursuing adoption and see what happened. About 10 days later, we found out that my sister-in-law, Cindy's, niece was pregnant and was planning on giving the baby up for adoption. I knew the birth mom when she was a child, but had not seen her in 12 years, since we had moved to Indiana. Literally 2 days later we received another call from a woman in our church who's step-niece was pregnant in Florida and she wanted to know if we were interested in adopting that baby. Needless to say, we were shocked and unsure. We continued to pray and trust God had a plan.
After I had a conversation with the grandmother in Florida, it seemed unlikely that this baby would be ours. We continued to wait and at one point about 5-6 weeks ago, it looked like my sister-in-law's niece was going to call me personally to discuss a possible adoption of her baby girl. The call never came and we quickly learned that the birth mom had decided to give her baby to some friends. They had rented her a place and were helping her get on her feet. It was communicated to us that this was not the best home for this little one and that made it even harder.
We spent time grieving and for me personally, I really had to wrestle it out with God. It really became an issue of faith for me to believe that God is big enough for this baby, the baby in Florida and all the other children in the world who suffer. In the end, I submitted to Him and resolved myself that this must not be the plan for Jeff and I at this time. This process confirmed our heart for adoption and we decided we would pursue something else formally with an agency after the first of the year. Our boys knew about the possibility of this happening as we told them when we thought the birth mom was going to call me. It provided a great opportunity to talk to them about adoption and how we are all adopted by God (Ephesians1:5).
We thought this door was closed and I decided that I would start subbing on a part-time basis at the boys school to help the family budget and because I have loved working with the students there on a volunteer basis. I had to jump through several hoops to get my sub license and finally got into the system and on Friday, September 18th, I emailed the boys principal to let her know I had put in my availability and I was ready to start that next Monday.
Later that night I was laying in bed about 9:30pm reading a book and my cell phone rang. It was the birth mom who had decided that the other couple was not the best plan for the baby and she wanted to know if we were still interested in adopting her baby. She explained that she would be induced on Sunday morning and wanted to know if we could come? We talked for awhile and I told her I needed to talk to Jeff and I would call her back. Jeff and I talked and prayed and both felt like we needed to go and try. We would just keep seeking wisdom for each step of the way and trust that God would lead us, believing that God would provide what was needed if this was His will for us and this baby. We weren't even sure that it could happen that quickly.
Back when we were contacted about these possible babies, I spoke with an adoption attorney in Indianapolis, Michele Jackson. After the door had closed with both of these situations, we did not pursue a home study because we knew that it would be more "financially responsible" to wait till after the first of the year. So after I called the birth mom back to say we would come, I tried to get a hold of our attorney by calling her office at 10 something at night hoping she would leave a cell number on her work line or something? No such luck! We even called her parents who we go to church with in an attempt to beg it out of them and they were not home. I called my other sister-in-law and asked her to pray and told her that we were trying to get a hold of our attorney to find out if this was even feasible. She asked the name of our attorney and thought they might know each other since they were based in Anderson. She shared with me that a friend of a friend still has contact with Michele, and they were just talking about her the other day. So she called her friend at 11:15pm at night and her friend's sister-in-law is still friends with Michele and she happened to be texting her at that moment and would have Michele call us. So at 12 midnight Jeff and I were talking to Michele who indicated that it was feasible but that I should plan on staying in Michigan for awhile until I could get approval from the court (Interstate Compact) to cross the state line. She sent some important information to us on Saturday that we needed.
We had a full day ahead of us on Saturday with soccer commitments for the boys and a big carnival for National Youth Soccer Month. Jeff was at the field early that morning and we were going to be there till at least 5pm. I can't miss telling about the wonderful people we have in our lives. While we were at the soccer fields, a friend networked with another friend who had some infant girl clothes and when we got home on Saturday there was a box on my doorstep. Another neighbor mowed our lawn that Jeff had planned on mowing on Sunday(and now would be gone) and was overdue to be cut. Another friend stepped forward to help clean our house in preparation for a possible home study. And yet another started arranging meals for my boys when they returned to Indiana. And countless more offered to step up in anyway we needed. We arrived at my brother and sister-in-laws pretty late Saturday night
On Sunday, we dropped off my boys at my sisters' house and headed to the hospital. While we were at the hospital, we got reacquainted with the birth mom and at that point we were planning in waiting out the process at the hospital. Jeff and I left for dinner with some of my family as it looked like things were going really slow with the labor.
My mom cooked up a ton of food and all of my family got together at my brothers house. Someone asked if we had a name picked out and we did not. Thus started a discussion around the table about possible names and nicknames. It was a time of great laughter including Jacob laughing so hard he was crying and pounding the table. It was something I will never forget and was a needed relief from the whirlwind of the 2 previous days!
While we were eating, the birth mom called and invited me to stay in the delivery room for the birth. I was completely blown away and humbled. Jeff and I headed back to the hospital and Jeff stayed in the waiting room till about 1:30 am and I sent him home. I stayed with the birth mom and her mom through the night. The birth mom was in a ton of pain from back labor and it was really hard to watch her suffer and know my place. I mostly prayed and helped when and where I could. Finally the birth mom was able to get some rest and so did I.
We were at Hurley Hospital in downtown Flint. There was no deluxe birthing suite until you were well into labor, so we were in a tiny antepartum room. I didn't even know what antepartum meant until this experience. The labor and delivery waiting room had no couches either. So I wandered down to the main lobby where there was a blaring flat screen TV with a few couches and no security guard on duty. I took my chances and laid down using my purse as a pillow at 3:30am Monday morning. I had a hard time falling asleep because I was a bit nervous but eventually exhaustion took over. I awoke several times and remember seeing a girl in scrubs walking though the lobby. At 5 am I sat up rubbing my eyes and looked around and jumped out of my skin when I looked over on the couch next to me and found it too was occupied by a man with a giant afro. It made me laugh to know I was not alone and wondered how long he had been there? We must have been quite the pair, being the only ones in the lobby.
At 6:30am the birth mom was transferred into the deluxe room where she continued to labor. Things finally started moving along and she eventually dilated to 10. She pushed for 20 minutes and Sophie Kay Spires (we finally landed on a name at lunchtime Monday) was born at 2:16pm Monday, September 21st (which happens to be my sister's birthday). Weighing in at 6lbs 14oz and 19 1/4 inches long. Just as bright and alert as can be with a head full of dark hair. Sophie means "wisdom" which we sought from the moment we knew about her. Kay which was Jeff's mom's middle name. So her initials are SKS, just like Jeff's mom, Sharon Kay Spires. I will treasure forever the gift of being there for her birth and am humbled at being allowed to share in that moment with the birth mom.
We fell completely in love the moment we laid eyes on her and can't begin to describe how grateful we are. We left the hospital on Monday having nothing signed but had amazing peace and joy. We did not return Monday night as we wanted to give the birth mom time to be with Sophie.
In the meantime our lawyer was working to secure an attorney that we would retain on the birth mom's behalf to be her representative. We secured one late Monday and confirmed him Tuesday morning in time to find out the baby had been cleared for discharge from the hospital. To where?...we still had nothing signed. The attorney came in at 12:30pm to start the process.
I was able to talk one on one with the birth mom before the attorney arrived and I will forever treasure this time as I feel such tenderness for her and admire her courageous, excruciatingly difficult decision she made in giving up her baby girl. The papers were signed in the hospital and it was arranged that Sophie would be discharged into our care that very day. The birth mom was discharged first and we hugged and cried. It is all so bittersweet...it has been really hard knowing that our great joy has been her deep pain. She is constantly on my heart and mind.
So at 4pm Tuesday, September 22nd, we left the hospital with our baby girl, still pinching ourselves that this had all happened. We had to make a run though Babies R Us for supplies considering all we had was a car seat and a portable crib. We made it home to my brother and sister-in-law's and introduced Sophie to her big brothers and her aunts and uncles and Grandma O.
There is still so many things that happened during this time and I was constantly amazed how pieces came together, finances came together and people came together. I am still in awe that we brought a baby home from the hospital 3 days after we were invited to adopt her. I am overwhelmed with gratitude to God for this blessing and for his gift of peace during the entire process. I pray we never forget all the ways God provided and is still providing for us.
So on Wednesday, I said good-bye to my husband and sons who headed back to Indiana while we finish the home study and work towards getting the Interstate Compact so I too can take Sophie home. While it is very hard to be away from my boys (all of them), I will take this time as a gift to be able to spend undivided time with Sophie and to bond with her. Please continue to pray that the process will be expedited and that I will be able to go home soon. In the meantime, I am humbled at the support that has been showered on us here in Michigan and in Indiana. I can't wait to tell Sophie about all the people who love her and all they have done for her already and about this great God we serve who knit her together in her mother's womb (Psalm 139:13) and who knew all of her days before even one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16).
Jeff and I have always felt called to adoption and during the last couple years, we doubted at times if it would happen for us. We had come through a lot as a couple including the building of a new house. We were on vacation in July in Northern Michigan and had decided at that time that we would pray about pursuing adoption and see what happened. About 10 days later, we found out that my sister-in-law, Cindy's, niece was pregnant and was planning on giving the baby up for adoption. I knew the birth mom when she was a child, but had not seen her in 12 years, since we had moved to Indiana. Literally 2 days later we received another call from a woman in our church who's step-niece was pregnant in Florida and she wanted to know if we were interested in adopting that baby. Needless to say, we were shocked and unsure. We continued to pray and trust God had a plan.
After I had a conversation with the grandmother in Florida, it seemed unlikely that this baby would be ours. We continued to wait and at one point about 5-6 weeks ago, it looked like my sister-in-law's niece was going to call me personally to discuss a possible adoption of her baby girl. The call never came and we quickly learned that the birth mom had decided to give her baby to some friends. They had rented her a place and were helping her get on her feet. It was communicated to us that this was not the best home for this little one and that made it even harder.
We spent time grieving and for me personally, I really had to wrestle it out with God. It really became an issue of faith for me to believe that God is big enough for this baby, the baby in Florida and all the other children in the world who suffer. In the end, I submitted to Him and resolved myself that this must not be the plan for Jeff and I at this time. This process confirmed our heart for adoption and we decided we would pursue something else formally with an agency after the first of the year. Our boys knew about the possibility of this happening as we told them when we thought the birth mom was going to call me. It provided a great opportunity to talk to them about adoption and how we are all adopted by God (Ephesians1:5).
We thought this door was closed and I decided that I would start subbing on a part-time basis at the boys school to help the family budget and because I have loved working with the students there on a volunteer basis. I had to jump through several hoops to get my sub license and finally got into the system and on Friday, September 18th, I emailed the boys principal to let her know I had put in my availability and I was ready to start that next Monday.
Later that night I was laying in bed about 9:30pm reading a book and my cell phone rang. It was the birth mom who had decided that the other couple was not the best plan for the baby and she wanted to know if we were still interested in adopting her baby. She explained that she would be induced on Sunday morning and wanted to know if we could come? We talked for awhile and I told her I needed to talk to Jeff and I would call her back. Jeff and I talked and prayed and both felt like we needed to go and try. We would just keep seeking wisdom for each step of the way and trust that God would lead us, believing that God would provide what was needed if this was His will for us and this baby. We weren't even sure that it could happen that quickly.
Back when we were contacted about these possible babies, I spoke with an adoption attorney in Indianapolis, Michele Jackson. After the door had closed with both of these situations, we did not pursue a home study because we knew that it would be more "financially responsible" to wait till after the first of the year. So after I called the birth mom back to say we would come, I tried to get a hold of our attorney by calling her office at 10 something at night hoping she would leave a cell number on her work line or something? No such luck! We even called her parents who we go to church with in an attempt to beg it out of them and they were not home. I called my other sister-in-law and asked her to pray and told her that we were trying to get a hold of our attorney to find out if this was even feasible. She asked the name of our attorney and thought they might know each other since they were based in Anderson. She shared with me that a friend of a friend still has contact with Michele, and they were just talking about her the other day. So she called her friend at 11:15pm at night and her friend's sister-in-law is still friends with Michele and she happened to be texting her at that moment and would have Michele call us. So at 12 midnight Jeff and I were talking to Michele who indicated that it was feasible but that I should plan on staying in Michigan for awhile until I could get approval from the court (Interstate Compact) to cross the state line. She sent some important information to us on Saturday that we needed.
We had a full day ahead of us on Saturday with soccer commitments for the boys and a big carnival for National Youth Soccer Month. Jeff was at the field early that morning and we were going to be there till at least 5pm. I can't miss telling about the wonderful people we have in our lives. While we were at the soccer fields, a friend networked with another friend who had some infant girl clothes and when we got home on Saturday there was a box on my doorstep. Another neighbor mowed our lawn that Jeff had planned on mowing on Sunday(and now would be gone) and was overdue to be cut. Another friend stepped forward to help clean our house in preparation for a possible home study. And yet another started arranging meals for my boys when they returned to Indiana. And countless more offered to step up in anyway we needed. We arrived at my brother and sister-in-laws pretty late Saturday night
On Sunday, we dropped off my boys at my sisters' house and headed to the hospital. While we were at the hospital, we got reacquainted with the birth mom and at that point we were planning in waiting out the process at the hospital. Jeff and I left for dinner with some of my family as it looked like things were going really slow with the labor.
My mom cooked up a ton of food and all of my family got together at my brothers house. Someone asked if we had a name picked out and we did not. Thus started a discussion around the table about possible names and nicknames. It was a time of great laughter including Jacob laughing so hard he was crying and pounding the table. It was something I will never forget and was a needed relief from the whirlwind of the 2 previous days!
While we were eating, the birth mom called and invited me to stay in the delivery room for the birth. I was completely blown away and humbled. Jeff and I headed back to the hospital and Jeff stayed in the waiting room till about 1:30 am and I sent him home. I stayed with the birth mom and her mom through the night. The birth mom was in a ton of pain from back labor and it was really hard to watch her suffer and know my place. I mostly prayed and helped when and where I could. Finally the birth mom was able to get some rest and so did I.
We were at Hurley Hospital in downtown Flint. There was no deluxe birthing suite until you were well into labor, so we were in a tiny antepartum room. I didn't even know what antepartum meant until this experience. The labor and delivery waiting room had no couches either. So I wandered down to the main lobby where there was a blaring flat screen TV with a few couches and no security guard on duty. I took my chances and laid down using my purse as a pillow at 3:30am Monday morning. I had a hard time falling asleep because I was a bit nervous but eventually exhaustion took over. I awoke several times and remember seeing a girl in scrubs walking though the lobby. At 5 am I sat up rubbing my eyes and looked around and jumped out of my skin when I looked over on the couch next to me and found it too was occupied by a man with a giant afro. It made me laugh to know I was not alone and wondered how long he had been there? We must have been quite the pair, being the only ones in the lobby.
At 6:30am the birth mom was transferred into the deluxe room where she continued to labor. Things finally started moving along and she eventually dilated to 10. She pushed for 20 minutes and Sophie Kay Spires (we finally landed on a name at lunchtime Monday) was born at 2:16pm Monday, September 21st (which happens to be my sister's birthday). Weighing in at 6lbs 14oz and 19 1/4 inches long. Just as bright and alert as can be with a head full of dark hair. Sophie means "wisdom" which we sought from the moment we knew about her. Kay which was Jeff's mom's middle name. So her initials are SKS, just like Jeff's mom, Sharon Kay Spires. I will treasure forever the gift of being there for her birth and am humbled at being allowed to share in that moment with the birth mom.
We fell completely in love the moment we laid eyes on her and can't begin to describe how grateful we are. We left the hospital on Monday having nothing signed but had amazing peace and joy. We did not return Monday night as we wanted to give the birth mom time to be with Sophie.
In the meantime our lawyer was working to secure an attorney that we would retain on the birth mom's behalf to be her representative. We secured one late Monday and confirmed him Tuesday morning in time to find out the baby had been cleared for discharge from the hospital. To where?...we still had nothing signed. The attorney came in at 12:30pm to start the process.
I was able to talk one on one with the birth mom before the attorney arrived and I will forever treasure this time as I feel such tenderness for her and admire her courageous, excruciatingly difficult decision she made in giving up her baby girl. The papers were signed in the hospital and it was arranged that Sophie would be discharged into our care that very day. The birth mom was discharged first and we hugged and cried. It is all so bittersweet...it has been really hard knowing that our great joy has been her deep pain. She is constantly on my heart and mind.
So at 4pm Tuesday, September 22nd, we left the hospital with our baby girl, still pinching ourselves that this had all happened. We had to make a run though Babies R Us for supplies considering all we had was a car seat and a portable crib. We made it home to my brother and sister-in-law's and introduced Sophie to her big brothers and her aunts and uncles and Grandma O.
There is still so many things that happened during this time and I was constantly amazed how pieces came together, finances came together and people came together. I am still in awe that we brought a baby home from the hospital 3 days after we were invited to adopt her. I am overwhelmed with gratitude to God for this blessing and for his gift of peace during the entire process. I pray we never forget all the ways God provided and is still providing for us.
So on Wednesday, I said good-bye to my husband and sons who headed back to Indiana while we finish the home study and work towards getting the Interstate Compact so I too can take Sophie home. While it is very hard to be away from my boys (all of them), I will take this time as a gift to be able to spend undivided time with Sophie and to bond with her. Please continue to pray that the process will be expedited and that I will be able to go home soon. In the meantime, I am humbled at the support that has been showered on us here in Michigan and in Indiana. I can't wait to tell Sophie about all the people who love her and all they have done for her already and about this great God we serve who knit her together in her mother's womb (Psalm 139:13) and who knew all of her days before even one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16).
Oh My Robin. God gave you your hearts desire. Isn't He AWESOME! Congrats to your whole family on the birth of your new little Sophie.
ReplyDeleteBeth Brault
An AMAZING story, Robin. Congratulations! If there is anything we can do to help, let us know.
ReplyDeleteThis is posting as my husband as he has a google account and I don't. Anyway, I am Amber Snider.
ReplyDeleteThis brought tears to my eyes...God is certainly good and with us all!!! When things are God's plan, it is amazing how well things go together. If there is anything you need while in Michigan, I am just over here in Kalamazoo, so I may be able to help. Thanks for sharing your amazing story!!!
I'm SO EXCITED for you!!! I can't believe it went that quick!! I'll have to talk "adoption-shop" with you soon. Right now, just enjoy your little one. Love ya! Steph, Joel, Levi & Wesley <><
ReplyDeleteWOW Robin! I had no idea! I'm so excited for you all and am anxious to meet Sophie. I'm sitting here in my office, crying over this blog. We don't have any grandchildren, so maybe we can help with your children when you need it.
ReplyDeleteJust give us a call for anything. We'll be praying!
Love you all,
Mel & Karen Rhodes